A co-worker brought in a few packs of Cracker Jack this afternoon.

I was never a huge fan. But, really, it’s all about the prize inside the box, right?

Well, apparently not any more.

I don’t know how long this has been going on, but there are no longer prizes at the bottom of the year 2013 Cracker Jack box.

OK, that’s not fair. There is a “prize”—but only if you consider a piece of paper with a link to a website a damn prize.

Maybe I’m out of touch with kids these days, what with their penchant for digital-media titillation, but a link to a damn website is not prize. It’s a big eff-off.

Stop screwing me over, Cracker Jack!

(P.S., also, can I get more than just two peanuts?)