An assistant editor at Slate took it upon herself last night to assign a meat to every state across the country. And to Luxembourg, for reasons unknown.   

After outlining some rules—for example, meat means mammal—she ends up giving California tofu. Tofu! Soy! So clearly not-mammal! 

Here’s her justification:

It’s a well-known fact that Californians don’t eat meat, just tofu and kale. And to include kale on a list of state meats would just be ridiculous.

WOW. 

Despite having literally just consumed a dish with kale and tofu, I am outraged. Kale isn’t even our state vegetable. (That’s artichoke, for the record.)

If you must, see the full map here. Tennessee may have gotten bacon, but I’ll take tofu over gelatin any day, Utah.