Sacramento sugar daddies less promiscuous (and therefore less happy?), this clickbait blah blah says

Despite what you’ve been hearing about some of our male politicians, Sacramento men aren’t so gross, according to a gross dating website.

Seeking Arrangements, the site that unites sugar daddies (shudder) and sugar babies (SHUDDER), polled (heh) 56,000 of its male users to determine which American cities were the sluttiest. Whoops, skankiest. Sorry, “most promiscuous.”

Anyway, it determined promiscuity by ranking cities with the highest percentage of male users who claim they’ve had more than seven sexual partners in a year, and NOT BECAUSE THEY’RE DEPRESSED OR INSECURE MOM!

OK, with that out of the way, let’s go to the results: San Jose ranked first, with 74 percent of surveyed users saying they hit it and quit with seven or more different people. Las Vegas placed sixth at 65 percent and—oh who gives a shit? You can look up the clickbait results on your own.

But we did ask public relations coordinator Ashleigh Stevens where Sacramento came in, and it turns out only 23 percent of the 1,100 users surveyed from the area claimed having seven or more sexual partners in a year. That put the city in 41st place overall.

These numbers should be taken with a huge grain of salt (and two fistfuls of penicillin) considering they’re being provided by a company that proclaims to be the “world’s largest” online resource for sugar daddies and stands to benefit from any public exposure.

After all, consider this hilarious explanation from Seeking Arrangements founder Brandon Wade about why San Jose ranked so high:

“San Jose is one of the few cities that truly bounced back after the recession,” Wade said in a release. “Now they are bouncing back in more colorful ways and rank as one of the happiest cities in America. Perhaps that happiness and promiscuity correlate.”

Perhaps!

So there you have it. Economic recovery + and eighth-place finish on Gallup-Healthways Well-Index’s list of happiest cities = sleeping around.

Just more proof that we really need that new downtown Kings arena to make everything better.

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