White male entitlement goes nuclear on the golf course

File this one under “first world problems.”

Two golfers got their clubs bent out of shape over something stupid last month in Sacramento County. Then they beat the snot out of each other.

“Wait until you hear what it started about,” said Sgt. Lisa R. Bowman, spokeswoman for the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department.

The dispute started around 8 a.m. March 16, when a trio of putters skipped the group in front if it at WildHawk Golf Club on Vineyard Road, Bowman explained. This sparked an argument between the skipper and the skipped, one that got all yuppie-gangsta when a 54-year-old man whacked a 25-year-old man with a golf club.

It was the elder golfer’s group that skipped the younger man’s, Bowman said. According to a sheriff’s department incident summary, the accosted 25-year-old armed himself with a broken club and lashed out at his assailant’s golf partner, who tried to disarm him. The 54-year-old—described as 6-foot-4 and 220 pounds—then knotted his smaller opponent in a headlock, punched him and dragged him to the green. It took several people to separate the pair.

Both combatants were transported to the hospital, but neither was arrested. Deputies recorded multiple witness statements and forwarded the case to the Sacramento County District Attorney’s Office, which doesn’t typically prosecute these types of scraps. “We have not heard the outcome yet,” Bowman said April 3.

This may be one instance where it’s better to blame the players, not the game.

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