This is a post about David Hasselhoff and the Sacramento News & Review’s relationship with The Hoff.

A face only a German could love?  (Image from http://traveloops.com/2013/01/08/travel-oops-halted-by-the-hoff-at-les-halles-in-paris/)

But a little background first: Raheem F. Hosseini is half-German. If that doesn’t mean anything to you, that means you were probably born in the 1990s and have never seen the blurry footage of a post-Knight Rider Hasselhoff in a light-up leather jacket and black-and-white keyboard scarf on the Berlin Wall, as jubilant Germans celebrated the coming down of concrete barrier in 1989.

Raheem F. Hosseini: “I wonder if there is a David Hasselhoff tribute band.”

Dave Kempa: “Is David Hasselhoff a musician?”

RFH: (Hurt.) “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.”

Jonathan Mendick offers RFH a black-and-white 8.5-by-11 photo of The Hoff, surrounded by hearts and his shirt unbuttoned to mid-hairy chest.

J.M.: “It’s sad that this is the only artwork at my desk.”

Now it’s the only artwork at RFH’s desk.

RFH goes on to describe a Baywatch episode in which Hasselhoff’s character dreams he is onstage singing to a huge crowd, but the footage used in the show is actually from a concert in Germany.

Shoka: (Laughing.) “You watched Baywatch!”

D.K.: “That’s the takeaway from this whole thing.”