Don't bring your spear gun to Sactown

Sacramento County’s regional parks department put out a reminder this week that spear guns are verboeten at county parks, to which even Ahab might say, “No duh.”

But apparently spearfishing is a big enough pastime—and one state fishing regulations say can happen inside the county—so the common-sense announcement was made.

Here are some other ones we hope you already know:

  • Turn signals are not optionable.
  • “Wait, so harpoons are OK?”
  •  
  • Make sure to breathe in and out.
  • Don’t drive a tank on the sidewalk.
  • No one wants to hear your Borat anymore.
  • If you smelt it, that doesn’t necessarily mean you dealt it.
  • If you time travel to the past, you should not kill baby Hitler. Because of unintended consequences. Haven’t you ever watched Back to the Future II?
  • And don’t believe everything you read.

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