For the sake of the children

Joey Garcia

I have made peace with my daughter’s thug lifestyle, but I am worried about my three beautiful grandbabies. My daughter leaves those babies with me for weeks at a time. I don’t mind caring for them. I hate it when she takes them back and feeds them Pepsi and Cheetos for breakfast and doesn’t bathe them or spend time reading to them. I am willing to file a complaint with Child Protective Services, but I am afraid that my daughter will never talk to me again or will harm me. What should I do?

You know the answer: intervene. You must ensure that those children grow up in the best living conditions possible. So, yes, call CPS. If your daughter threatens to never talk to you again, don’t be intimidated. Let her know how her threat makes you feel: sad, disappointed, frustrated. Tell her how much you will miss her. Say that you will be available if she ever changes her mind. Embody love in response to her histrionics.

One last thing: Has your daughter ever threatened to harm you? Or is your imagination working overtime to avoid having to confront your daughter? If she has threatened you, take the necessary legal actions to care for yourself and your grandbabies. If it’s your imagination that’s out of control, redirect that creative energy into shaping a new life for yourself and those children.

I met this guy at a club, and we hit it off. I gave him my number, and he called really late the next night. He calls me really late almost every night now, and we talk for hours. We really connect. It’s not sexual. We talk about our lives and stuff. The thing is, he hasn’t asked me out, and it’s been a couple of weeks now. Every time I say something about meeting up, he changes the subject. I really like this guy. What should I do?

Stop being his pill. He’s probably an insomniac, and after a few hours of soothing, intimate conversation with you, he can sleep. That’s all he wants, apparently. Maybe you feel connected to him because he’s a great conversationalist. But if he felt the same pull toward you, he would definitely want to schedule a face-to-face date. So give him one more chance. The next time you chat, invite him out. If he avoids committing to a date again, wish him sweet dreams and end the conversation. On subsequent nights, put your phone on airplane mode. Quiet your mind and drift into luscious sleep. Save your breath for a man who treasures spending time with you.

I am secretly dating my friend’s ex-boyfriend and freaking out. Her parents own the condo we share, and I only pay utilities to live in a really nice gated community. I could never afford this place, but it’s worth losing it to keep my boyfriend. Do you think I should just pack up and move out? Or tell her and see what happens? He broke up with her two years ago.

Did he break up with her to date you? If so, you will lose your home and your gal pal. But if you and your boyfriend ran into each other, unexpectedly, several months after their breakup, you have nothing to hide. Yes, she might feel uncomfortable at first, but you haven’t betrayed her. It’s time to tell her the truth. If she’s over him, she won’t care. If she tries to taint your affection for him with tales of his quirks and annoying qualities, don’t listen. Let her know that you want to experience the relationship personally, not secondhand. And then stop worrying about her feelings; that’s her job.

Meditation of the week
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong,” said Mahatma Gandhi. What do you need to forgive yourself for doing, saying or not becoming?

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