By John Flynn and Raheem F. Hosseini
Presidential? Pardon.
On February 28, pundits credited President Donald Trump with a “presidential” address to Congress, during which he exploited the grief of a widow who lost her Navy SEAL husband in a mission Trump hastily ordered, then proposed creating a Nazi-adjacent propaganda office to publicize crimes by undocumented immigrants. Trump’s phony stoicism cracked March 4, when he parroted an evidenceless Breitbart article in tweets accusing former President Barack Obama of tapping his phone. Minutes later, he shifted his unhinged scorn to Arnold Schwarzenegger for quitting The Apprentice. How soon until Trump watches the King Kong trailer and orders a nuclear airstrike of Skull Island?
– 45
Moot sport
Mira Loma High School’s victory last week in the annual Gordon D. Schaber Sacramento County Moot Court competition felt ripped from the headlines. On March 1, a three-judge panel sided with Mira Loma’s “defense attorneys” in ruling that cops didn’t use excessive force in responding to a public demonstration or violate the First Amendment rights of a student attempting to film it. Falling short in the fictional case of “Rouser v. City of Humdrum, et al.” was Bella Vista High School, whose students represented the plaintiff. But they shouldn’t feel bad. Most real-world excessive force lawsuits end the same way.
+ 1
Joint, custody
Proposition 63 can’t take effect soon enough for one marijuana customer. The 58-year-old man was robbed of his wallet by a pot dealer last Wednesday morning at the Alkali Flats light-rail station, where police say the victim attempted to score cannabis. Even worse, after calling police to report the theft, the victim was arrested on outstanding warrants for possession of a controlled substance and theft, according to department spokesman Sgt. Bryce Heinlein. That three-leaf clover doesn’t seem to be working too well.
– 63
Giveback taxes
To the 97,200 Californians who didn’t file a federal tax return in 2013, the IRS has $93.4 million waiting for you, estimating that half of these returns total more than $917. Those who didn’t file may also be eligible for the Earned Income Tax Credit, which can be worth up to $6,044. Folks, the IRS is literally paying you to do your taxes, so file by April 18 and get a slice of government cheddar.
+ 97,200
Liar? да
During his confirmation hearing, Attorney General Jeff Sessions denied contact with any Russians. He lied. After joining the Trump campaign in February 2016, the then-senator met twice with a Russian ambassador, Sergey Kislyak. General Mike Flynn also met Kislyak, then denied doing so to Vice President Mike Pence, which got Flynn fired. Sessions recused himself from investigating Russian election meddling, but hasn’t resigned, meaning a man who has committed perjury is in charge of prosecuting perjurers.
-60
St. Paddy’s pay
To combat rampant drunk driving on St. Patrick’s Day, the Demas Law Group has offered a $10 Uber discount to the first 100 people who fill out a form on its website. Remember: Uber is under fire for sexual harassment claims, doesn’t have a tip function and uses the title “independent contractor” to deny workers benefits. Better to use tip-friendly Lyft or call a union-supporting cab.
+ 10
Ma drama
In two blistering diss tracks, independent rapper Remy Ma savaged Nicki Minaj, the highest-selling female rapper ever, for allegedly using ghostwriters, being a record label puppet and getting gluteal implants, along with more salacious accusations. Minaj has yet to respond, putting her and her recent ex-boyfriend, the Drake-destroyed Meek Mill, on the losing end of two more recent rap beefs. Still, it’s indicative of the Bronx-bred Ma’s career that she’s tapping into our thirst for drama to gain relevancy.
– 2
