Gather around everyone, it’s Kevin Johnson story time.

Today, let’s look at “Life After KJ,” a piece by Rich Ehisen in Comstock’s Magazine. It’s got a legitimate and potentially interesting premise: What’s the Sacramento political landscape going to look like once Johnson leaves?

But quickly, Ehisen shows us where this story is actually going. It’s a KJ love fest, treating the mayor like a king who can do no wrong. Even though, as SN&R readers know, he’s possibly done plenty wrong. Need we remind you of a few things? How he allegedly sexually assaulted a 15-year-old girl and pretended not to know that a naked hug with her was less than OK? How more women have come forward with their own stories from when they were teens as well? How he used private email for city business, and then failed to turn them over after a routine public records request? 

Apparently, Ehisen needs the reminder.

Johnson was the political equivalent of a Ferrari — fast and cool as hell, albeit prone to a steady stream of breakdowns that kept him in neutral as often as in overdrive. But who cared?

Who cared? Really? Who cared?

It was still a major upgrade over his predecessor, Heather Fargo, who was a lot more like the used Honda your parents gave you to get through college. She was functional, but only if the road was smooth and undemanding. And let’s be real: with Fargo as mayor, the Kings would already be playing home games in Anaheim or Virginia Beach or Seattle. 

Uh huh. Because the arena was a fabulous idea.

Of course, Fargo’s folks would remind us ad nauseum [sic] that she also would never have been embroiled in the kind of sexual misconduct allegations — including those by accusers who were teenagers at the time of the alleged incidents — that have plagued Johnson.

Ad nauseam. Because reminding people of the mayor’s seedy past is such an annoying, pestering thing to do! 

Anyway, Ehisen sets his eyes on the mayoral election, and wraps it all up with:

We’ll find out soon enough what voters think. But whichever candidate they choose, it’s probably going to be a lot less chaotic around City Hall over the next four years. And a lot less interesting.

Because all we want is an “interesting” mayor.